[ Tuesday, August 02, 2005 ]
Summer drawls on. Daughter has started tech school, is busy and happy. Son finished summer school, kinda unmotivated. But who can blame him. Temps in the 90s, "real feel" in the 100s. The heat interacts with some of his meds and leave him a little disoriented and tired.
Dagwood looks tired all the time now. Blondie has not been able to eat enough over the weeks and has lost a lot of weight. The last few days or so, she hasn't even been able to hold liquids down; the nausea is pretty much constant now. They have a doc's appointment this afternoon.
But the girl is failing, man. I'm watching it happen before my eyes. The cancer may have stopped spreading, but what remains is eating her up. The pain's gotten a notch or two worse lately, which is exhausting.
This started in April, with a trip to the ER for a sudden back pain. It's now August, and she looks like shit. "Going downhill" is a term that comes to mind.
There's little left of her mind anymore. She can talk about old times with old friends, but talk of the future is oddly inappropriate.
I'm not sure what to say anymore, and this log reflects that. What I FEEL is that it's a damn shame, a damn, damn shame. I know that none of us gets out of here alive and all that, but bone cancer..... man, I just can't see the silver lining in this one.
I'll keep going over until I can't. After all these years, I owe her that much. And Dags too.
I can always crack a joke, and she a smile, and that's all worth it.
gonzoliberal [2:48 PM]